


He Only Speaks To Me

by telltaleharto



Category: Phan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-22
Updated: 2015-07-25
Packaged: 2018-04-10 14:55:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4396250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/telltaleharto/pseuds/telltaleharto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daniel Howell, 18. Son of one of the most powerful politicians to exist. Good kid turned bad boy. It was all his father could do to keep him out of jail, he said. Dan’s options were to spend a year and a half in prison. or work in this mental health hospital. Where Phil Lester just happened to be a patient.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Daniel. You understand how lucky you are, right?”  
“Yes, dad.”  
“You messed up bad this time, mister. You could have ruined everything! You nearly ruined my campaign!”  
Dan rolled his eyes.  
“Whatever.”  
“Don’t you whatever me. You’re lucky you aren’t rotting in jail right now.”  
“I understand, dad. Please just let me go.”  
“What would your mother say?”  
Dan whipped around to glare at his father.  
“Don’t you DARE talk about her!” he exclaimed, before jumping out of his father’s car and slamming the door.  
“I expect you have a better attitude when I come to visit next month!” Dan’s dad yelled through the rolled-down car window, before screeching his tires as he drove away.

Dan looked dismally at his new home.

Daniel Howell, 18. Son of one of the most powerful politicians to exist. Good kid turned bad boy. It was all his father could do to keep him out of jail, he said. Dan’s options were to spend a year and a half in prison. or work in this mental health hospital. Wolf’s Run was the name. Not only did he have to work here, he also had to live here because his father would no longer let him live with him.

His first day was a blur, being introduced to all the patients and taught the routines of the hospital. It was fairly quiet, and not at all as disturbing as it had sounded. Only a few people stood out to him. Alice, the schizophrenic, who just seemed gentle and quiet. Alan, who suffered from night terrors that couldn’t be stopped. And Phil. Phil, he was told, had PTSD and was mute. He was also terrified of fire, linking to some trauma in his past. When Dan was in his room, Phil looked out of the window, refusing to make eye contact.

Dan was assigned to second shift. There were three shifts, according to Supervisor Dave, and as it looked to Dan, second shift was worked entirely by guys like Dan’s old crowd. Loud, obnoxious, rude… Dan knew just how to fit in.

A few weeks passed, with Dan hiding the fact that he lived at the hospital very well. Every night, when he got off work, he’d go and get drunk with his coworkers. He’d stumble back to his room at three or so in the morning, and wake up just before he had to be at work. He didn’t really get hungover, he just felt like a train had hit him. He was having the time of his life, but yet… he could feel himself reverting back to his old ways. He was slipping again, letting the darkness and his anger consume him, and he hated it. Hated himself.

One of the things “the guys” did to pass time a little quicker was torment patients. They’d hide medication, or T.V remotes, or keepsakes that were important to the patients. Initially, Dan refused to partake, but as his self-loathing and anger grew, he lost himself again. So he joined in.

At first, it was small. Putting salt in drinks, tripping and spilling water on people, acting like more paranoid patients were invisible. But then Mark, the “leader” of his group of friends, made him be a little more intense. He started using the patient’s fears against them. He was exactly the same as before. Nothing changed.

All of the events really came to a head when the boys said,  
“Do you know ickle sicky Philly?”  
Dan simply nodded.  
“Bro, it’s hilarious when you get him worked up. All you gotta do to upset him is wave a lighter in front of his face, or burn something. It’s so funny!”

So inevitably, Dan was sent in with a lighter to make things interesting.

Phil was sat in his bed, a book in his hand. He looked up calmly when Dan entered the room.  
“Hey, Philly,” Dan said in a taunting voice, and Phil’s expression contorted to one of fear. Dan almost changed his mind and left him alone, but he was too far gone. He held up the lighter.  
“Care for a… Smoke?” he said as he flicked the lighter’s starter, and the small flame danced. He pulled out a cigarette, and lit it. He casually blew the smoke out in a thick stream, and watched as Phil began to breathe heavily. A single tear rolled down his face.

The supervisor, unbeknownst to Dan, stood behind him in the doorway. He watched as Dan taunted Phil with the lighter and cigarette, then barked “HOWELL!”  
Dan turned around quickly, his stomach sinking. He’d be a goner for sure now.  
“What in the HELL are you DOING, son??!?” asked Dave.  
“I… I was just…”  
“Just making fun of a patient, right? Cause you think it’s fun? A good way to spend your time?” He shook his head with digust.  
“My office, Howell.”  
When Dan didn’t move, he barked again.  
“NOW!”

Dan was sat in Dave’s office. He waited anxiously for Dave to speak.  
He thought for sure he was going to prison, now.

“Dan.”  
“Yes, sir.”  
“Do you know why you’re here?”  
Dan thought a minute.  
“It isn’t because your dad wanted to keep you from jail. I’ll tell you that honestly. He didn’t care what happened to you.”  
Dan looked up, and saw that his supervisor’s face had softened from his stone-like, furious mask from earlier.

“Dan, I’m the one who made sure you went here instead of jail. I stepped in, intervened, and said I could help you. I said being surrounded by patients I thought you could relate to would help you. Helping them would help you.”  
Dave sighed.  
“But taunting people isn’t going to help, Dan. Surrounding yourself with people like Mark isn’t going to help. You have to be the man I know you can be.”  
“So you’re not gonna send me to prison?” Dan asked fearfully.  
“No, not unless you repeat today’s actions again.  
“I won’t. I promise.”

Later that night, Dan couldn’t sleep. The image of Phil’s terrified face was burnt into his mind… He punched his pillow, tossed and turned, and even cried. Nothing worked.

He ended up taking a walk down the corridors. He wasn’t paying attention to where he walked, but somehow, he ended up at Phil’s room. He thought about knocking, but instead just walked in. Phil was still sat in bed, and he still had a book, but it was a different book. And he was reading by flashlight. Dan almost laughed, it was an adorable sight even though Phil was no doubt older than Dan. Phil looked up when he heard footsteps, and though his eyes widened at the sight of Dan, the look of terror did not return. Dan shuffled awkwardly before he asked, “Can I sit down?”

Phil nodded.

Dan took a deep breath.  
“I just wanted… to come and apologize. I was a jerk earlier. I guess I was just so pissed off that I had lost myself again, that I took it out on you. I’m exactly how I was when I came here… All I wanted then was my father’s attention. I don’t know what I want now.”

Dan found himself rambling, unable to stop.

“My mum died when I was ten. I was at the hospital with her when she died, and my father was in a business meeting. He refused to answer his phone, even though he knew she was sick. And ever since, my dad has been absorbed in his work. The only time he noticed me was when I acted out, because I might “tarnish his reputation.” So I started misbehaving all the time. Hoping to get his attention. Well, I robbed a gas station. That got his attention, all right. Nearly put me in prison. And all those guys only like me because they think I have money and a big house…”

Dan shrugged.

“I have nothing. I stay here, in an empty room.”

Dan fell silent, realizing how much he had talked, and Phil stared at him.

“My mother died when I was eight.” Phil said suddenly, in a voice croaky from not being used. Dan simply looked at him.  
“My father was abusive. They got in a really bad fight one night, and he was drunk, so he beat her. Poured gasoline on her.”  
Phil struggled to say the next few words.  
“And he set her on fire. Made me watch.”  
Dan stared at Phil, trying to imagine the horror he had experienced. He couldn’t do it. No wonder Phil didn’t like to talk.  
“After that, I never liked fire. But I was okay. I got out of there, had a normal family… I was normal again. But a year and a half ago, I got in a car accident. It wasn’t too bad. We were both fine. But when I got out of my car to check on the other driver…”  
He shuddered.  
“Another car hit the one I had hit, and they both exploded. I remember watching them burn alive. And ever since, there’s been no one I could talk to.”  
Phil squinted at him.  
“Except you.”

They sat, talking of their lives, becoming acquainted. It honestly felt like they had known each other for many years. Before they knew it, it was 3:00 am, and Phil was exhausted.  
“Dan?”  
“Yeah, Phil?”  
“Please don’t tell anyone I talked to you.”  
“Okay, but… Why?”  
Phil sighed.  
“I don’t want them treating me like a freak. I feel better not being pressured to talk. I can only speak to you.”  
“Whatever you want, Phil.”  
So Dan made a promise, and tiptoed off to his room. He knew where he’d be spending his nights.


	2. Chapter 2

Dan woke up the next day, feeling oddly at peace. He felt like on some level, he had confronted his demons by talking to Phil. Not only that, he made a friend. A friend who was funny and smart, and made Dan feel like an actual person. Not like some monster.

Dan wanted to be a better person, wanted to grow up and get past his problems and mistakes. The only thing was, Dan had no one to help him. His father didn’t care; he refused to help, refused to even acknowledge his son had a problem. The crowd he was always hanging out with was definitely no help. They could honestly care less about him. 

The only two people who seemed to care about him were his boss and Phil, which was a lonely feeling. Knowing that the only people who care about you are people you’ve barely known for a month is sad, because you feel like you’re handing an egg made of your insecurity to a snake and trusting it not to rely on instinct. A snake’s instinct is to swallow eggs whole.

But at the same time, he felt like the two people who did care about him were the best to rely on. Neither had an ulterior motive. Neither expected anything from him.

Dan hurried to get ready for his shift, dressing quickly and pausing a moment to wash his face in front of the spotted mirror hanging over his sink. He checked his reflection, noting that the bruises on his knuckles were fading and the bags under his eyes had started to disappear. He had a small smile, and though it wasn’t much, it was real.

Later in the day, the boys came up to Dan.   
“Hey, where you been?” Mark asked, still slurring and stumbling from the night before.  
“I’ve… been busy.”  
“Yeah? With what?”   
“Stuff.”  
“I gotcha, I gotcha… Man we gotta hang again sometime, aiight?”  
“I don’t know if I’ll be able to, but I’ll let you know if I can.” Dan said calmly, knowing it was likely going to make Mark mad.  
“Hey, whatever, dude! Do whatever the fuck you want.” Mark said, frowning slightly, before walking away. Dan sighed, and walked away.

It was almost the end of Dan’s shift when he heard shouting down the hall. He assumed that one of the patients was having an episode. He ran down the hallway, trying to find where the shouting was coming from. His stomach sank when he realized it was coming from the end of the hallway, where Phil’s room was.

He skidded to a stop in front of Phil’s door, only to find a horrifying scene. There Mark was, in front of Phil, with a large lighter and an evil grin plastered on his face. Phil was backed up against his headboard, a single tear falling down his face.   
“What the hell are you doing?!” Dan half yelled, half questioned.  
Mark turned around.  
“Oh, hey, Danny. I’m just… Having a little fun!” he said, as he tossed his lighter up in the air and caught it.  
“Get away from him.” Dan growled, balling up his fists.  
“And what are you gonna do, Danny boy? Gonna… Hit me?” Mark said tauntingly as he took a step forward.  
“If I have to.”  
Mark laughed.  
“You got balls, I’ll admit that. But this isn’t over.”  
He walked out, pausing at the doorway to yell, “See ya, Philly,” over his shoulder.  
“You alright?” Dan asked, when he was sure Mark had walked away. Phil simply nodded.  
“Hey… It’s okay. I won’t let him mess with you any more, okay?”  
Phil nodded.  
“I won’t let him hurt you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg i'm so sorry this chapter is so short I haven't had time or inspiration to write but this is better than nothing, and I'll be back at it soon.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr at telltaleharto!


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